A Pile of Proof

Don’t think that because you’re going through something hard, God doesn’t see—or doesn’t care. In case you need some proof, look at this collection of birthday cards.

Two years ago, I was practicing social distancing, but not because of a virus. Just as I was beginning to adjust and rejoice in my unexpected pregnancy, I found out that my baby had a 50% chance of survival.

Then, on the Thursday before Easter, an ultrasound confirmed our loss. There was no heartbeat. On Good Friday, I carried death inside my body, and that realization brought fresh appreciation and meaning to the truth that God watched his own Son, Jesus, suffer and die on a cross for my sins.

That Friday was also my birthday, the day I had planned to surprise my family and friends with the news of our baby’s life. Instead I stayed home, distancing myself from those I loved.

But God surprised me.

Unknown to me, a dear friend who had no idea about my pregnancy had sent out a broad request to friends and family weeks earlier, asking them to flood me with cards, emails, and texts on my birthday.

Not one of those friends knew the pain I suffered, but God did. In his perfect timing, God sent me more encouragement at once than I’d ever experienced in my life. He did this on a day I didn’t know how to receive it. The day I didn't want to talk to anyone. The day I didn't want to see anyone. The day I most needed it. The same day set aside on the calendar to remember that God gave his Son to make a way for those who trust in him never to be alone but to be with him for eternity.

I couldn’t process what was happening inside of me, my thoughts, or my emotions. But through a mailbox stuffed with cards and a continuously flowing stream of emails and texts that day, God made sure I knew I wasn’t alone. Each message reminded me that God saw, cared, and loved me. That he would be with me in the hard days ahead, no matter how distant he would seem.

I know we don’t always feel God’s presence. I know he doesn’t usually send us a pile of cards. But maybe my story can encourage you to believe and trust in his love for you even when you can’t see or feel it, because “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed” (John 20:29).

Because the greatest proof of God's love for us isn't a pile of cards. It's the gift of his Son. "But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

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"Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, 'We have seen the Lord.’ But he said to them, ‘Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.'

"Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you.' Then he said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.’ Thomas answered him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said to him, ‘Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed’” (John 20:29). John 20:24-29, ESV

You can follow Katie Faris on Facebook and Instagram or learn more about her book Loving My Children: Embracing Biblical Motherhood here.