A Place for Fear in Faith-Filled Parenting
I never considered myself to be a “fearful” person until I
became a mom. All of a sudden, this tiny human stirred in me the most intense
emotions. There was a fierce desire to defend and protect. Along with this God-given, she-bear mentality came the realization that so many
things, especially health-related, are out of my control. What do we do when our
anxieties surrounding our children seem to overrun us?
This question opens up a wide door for examination, and I’ve
struggled to narrow my thoughts. The big-picture is this: there’s a place for
fear in faith-filled parenting. The issue isn’t fear, but who and what we’re
fearing. The Bible repeatedly tells us to fear the Lord. When we fear the Lord
properly, we don’t need to be anxious about a million other real or imagined
fears. Instead, we bring them to the One who loves us and is able to do what is
impossible for us to do.
Please don’t hear what I’m not saying. The Bible never
denies the existence of “frightening things.” (Read 1 Peter 3.) As moms, we
encounter a host of frightening things related to child-bearing—labor and
delivery, stillbirth and miscarriage, infertility and adoptions that fall
through, diagnoses and genetic conditions, accidents and illnesses. Add to this
list our constant concern for our children’s spiritual well-being. Then there
are the decisions we make for our children and all of their implications. Who
will my child’s caregiver be? What’s the best educational choice for my daughter?
How will I discipline my son?
But in the face of things that can be truly frightening, we’re
given the choice to look at them or to look at God. We can focus on our visible circumstances, or through the lens of faith, we can gaze on an unseen God.
Fear says, “Run.” Faith says, “Pray.”
Fear says, “Retreat.” Faith says, “Persevere.”
Fear says, “It’s hopeless.” Faith says, “Trust.”
Faith-filled parenting fears God, not man or what he can do.
Faith believes God’s Word and embraces his promises, casting cares and
anxieties—often repeatedly—on a loving, wise, and sovereign heavenly Father. Faith
takes the long view, trusting God exists, hears our prayers, and will answer on
his time-table as he knows best.
As a teenager, I’d often be the last person in my family to
go upstairs to bed for the night. As I turned off the kitchen lights and walked
up the dark staircase, I’d repeat these words, “So do not fear, for I am with
you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God” (Is. 41:10). These words and so many more like them comfort us in our dark places.
When the path of motherhood is dark and frightening, we
remind ourselves who our God is—strong and mighty, trustworthy and true, and
the only One who’s in complete control. We remember he’s with us. And instead
of fearing what is frightening, we pour out our hearts to him. We ask him to do
what only he can do for us and our children, for his glory.
Email Katie at lovingmychildrenbook@gmail.com.